Explanations
by McAbbyAddict
Summary: When McGee yells at Abby for no reason, something must be wrong. But what?   Title and summary suck, sorry. McAbby, rated K  for now. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: This one is a work in progress guys, so please be patient. I'm still not sure exactly where its headed, but its been bugging me to get it down in print. So here we go...**

**Disclaimer: All characters etc. are property of Belisarius Productions. I don't own any of it**

Chapter 1

McGee stretched, leaning back until his spine popped. It had been an exceptionally long day, involving yet another tough case. They'd finally cracked it, and had spent the evening writing up case files. He finished his report, printing off copies for Gibbs, the Director, and the case file. He was the last person left in the bullpen; Tony and Ziva had left a little while ago. It was a Friday night and they didn't have the weekend duty this week, so they'd rushed through their reports and escaped. They'd pay for that when Gibbs saw the files, but that wasn't his problem.

He wondered whether Abby was still downstairs in the lab and if she had plans for the weekend. Usually he'd see if she wanted to hang out at all, but he'd had to stop himself from doing that. The thought made him sad; he really did miss her.

The urge to see her was irresistible; the hold she had on his heart was as strong now as it was when they were dating 6 years ago, maybe even stronger despite his best efforts.

He sighed, giving in, and made his way to the elevator. He'd just drop in, say hi, and then he'd go home and write for a while. If he didn't finish his current manuscript soon he'd have his publisher on his back.

The lab was brightly lit but quiet when he entered. Abby was sitting at her desk, her head in both hands. She looked the picture of dejection. McGee's heart went out to her. Crossing the main lab, he stood in front of her

"Abs, what's wrong?" he asked

She looked up, her face clear of makeup. God, she was beautiful.

"Timmy. I thought you'd gone for the weekend"

"I was just leaving; thought I'd drop by and say hi" he forced the words to come out evenly while his heart contracted at her use of the pet name she had for him. No one else called him Timmy.

"Since when do you just drop by and hi any more, Timmy?" She tried to laugh, but it came out stilted

He shifted nervously. 'Yeah, it's been kinda busy Abs"

"Not that busy. And any way, when has being busy ever stopped you from coming down here before?" The question was unanswerable. She got up from her chair, moving around the desk towards him.

"Why are you avoiding me, Timmy? Have I done something wrong?"

He took a step back, away from her, shaking his head

"Timmy, I want an explanation. 3 weeks ago everything was fine, then you stopped coming down here, you found excuses to get Tony or Ziva get reports for Gibbs. What's going on?"

He tried to come up with the words to explain, same as he'd done a hundred times, but again the words failed him.

Suddenly he was furious. Furious at himself, for getting himself into this position, for not being able to let go; for hurting her.

The confusion in her big eyes was the last straw.

He snapped "I can't do this anymore" at her and stormed out of her lab.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

McGee was drunk. He couldn't remember getting this drunk in... well, forever. He wasn't a drinker normally, but he needed something to try and erase the memory of her expression as he'd walked out on her. He'd never seen her this hurt, and what was worse, it was his fault. The pain in her clear green eyes was tearing him apart, and the alcohol wasn't helping one little bit.

"Probie?"

The voice came from somewhere nearby. He looked up, squinting a little as he tried to focus. His head was so fuzzy. Tony's face swam before him.

"Tony? What're you doing here?" his voice was slurred, even to his ears

"I could ask you the same question, McGee. What's up?"

"Nothing's up, Tony"

"Oh really? So why are you sitting in a bar drowning your sorrows? How much have you had to drink, anyway?"

McGee thought for a moment, then shrugged. He really couldn't remember. What did it matter anyway?

"What are you doing here?" he asked

"I was passing, saw your car out front and wondered what you were doing out this late on a Friday night. Didn't seem like you, somehow. Anyway, I think you've had enough for one night. Come on, McGee, let's get you home" Tony helped him to his feet, where he swayed unsteadily for a moment. Tony grabbed his arm and draped it over his shoulders, then guided McGee's stumbling footsteps out to Tony's car.

He got McGee into the passenger seat, where he slumped, barely conscious.

"Hey, stay with me McGee." He shook McGee's shoulder roughly, waking him up

"What in the hell is wrong with you, Probie? This isn't like you at all"

"Don't wanna talk about it" he replied as forcefully as he could through the haze

"Fine"

Grateful for the silence, McGee faded off to sleep.

He was woken a short while later by the car pulling up and Tony's door slamming. Dimly he felt himself being pulled to his feet and helped up stairs, then rolled onto a couch. Blearily he looked around. This wasn't his apartment.

He turned his head towards Tony.

"Couldn't leave you alone in your condition, Probie" he explained. He handed McGee a glass of water, then squatted on his haunches next to him.

"Feel like talking about it?"

"Drop it, Tony. You can't help anyway" he slumped back down on the couch, falling asleep again quickly

Tony watched McGee for a moment, just making sure that he was ok. He was worried about his Probie; he'd rarely seen him drink at all, let alone get drunk. There was definitely something wrong. The question was, what was it?

He was interrupted from his musing by the sound of a cell phone ringing. It wasn't his cell; it must be McGee's. Gingerly, he searched through the pockets of McGee's coat until he found it. The caller ID was Abby's. Thinking that she might be able to shed some light on what was wrong with McGee, he answered it

"DiNozzo"

"Tony? What are you doing answering McGee's phone? And where is McGee? Is he ok? Did something happen to him?" her voice was going a mile a minute

"Abs, calm down. He'll be just fine; he's just a little drunk right now"

"Drunk? Can you put him on, Tony?"

"Not gonna happen Abs, he's passed out on my couch. Have you ever known him to do this before, Abs?"

"Never, he doesn't drink much"

"Well, he did tonight, so what happened?"

"I don't really know, Tony. He came down to visit me tonight, I asked him why he's been avoiding me, and he snapped at me and stormed out. I've been trying to call him all night but he kept rejecting my calls. I'm worried about him, Tony"

"Me too, Abs. Look, I'm gonna let him sleep it off for now, maybe he'll want to talk later"

"Ok, Tony" she hung up

As he replaced McGee's phone in his coat pocket, he reflected that it was a good thing they didn't have the weekend duty this week.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is a really short chapter, bear with me. The next one is longer. This is my first attempt at writing an angsty story, so please be gentle**

Chapter 3

McGee awoke with a splitting headache. Groaning, he tried to open his eyes, but it felt like they'd been glued together.

"Ah, you're awake then Probie?"

He tried to answer, but all that came out was a croak

"Here". He put out his hand automatically, and felt Tony put a glass in it "Drink this"

He sat up slowly and sipped at the strange coloured liquid in the glass

"What is this?"

"DiNozzo Defibrillator"

He half smiled

"Thanks, Tony"

He finished the glass, grimacing at the taste

"You got a phone call from Abby last night, Probie. She's pretty worried" At that, McGee closed his eyes again, willing the shaft of memory to disappear

"She said you stormed out of her lab last night. We all know you've been avoiding her. I think you owe her an apology. Want to talk about it, Tim?"

The concern in Tony's voice, as well as the use of his first name, finally made McGee open up

"Ok. Ok" he sighed

"How much do you know about Abby and my relationship, years ago?"

"Not much. You guys broke up around the time you transferred from Norfolk. Assumed it was a mutual thing, because of rule #12; you two always seemed ok afterwards. What does that have to do with avoiding Abby now? That must have been 6 years ago"

"It wasn't a mutual thing, Tony, and it wasn't because of Rule #12. She broke it off; I wanted to get serious, and she didn't feel the same way."

He fell silent

"Tim?" Tony pressed

"I've spent the last 6 years waiting, Tony, hoping that one day she'd change her mind. And yes, I know how pathetic that sounds; you don't need to point it out ok. I can't help it. I love her" he paused again

"Anyway, I realised a while back that I can't keep doing this. I've gotta move on. 6 years too late, I need to get over her. I'm trying my best, but it's not easy. She's my best friend. All I can do is try and avoid her"

He dropped his head into his hands, trying to hide his misery. When he looked up again several minutes later, his eyes were red.

"I know I'm hurting her, Tony, and God knows it's hurting me too. But I don't know what else to do!"

"So what happened last night?"

"She wanted an explanation; wanted to know why I've been avoiding her. How am I supposed to tell her, Tony? How do you explain to someone that you love them when they don't feel the same way? Especially when you don't want to be in love with them anymore?"

He fell silent again. Tony didn't have an answer for that one.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This is probably going to be the last chapter for at least a few days. I'm having some problems with 'creative stifling'**

Chapter 4

"Hey Tony?"

"Yeah McGee?"

"Is my car still outside the bar?"

"Unless it's been impounded"

McGee sighed. That thought hadn't occurred to him. He picked up his coat

"Guess I'd better go find out. Thanks for everything, Tony"

"Hey, where do you think you're going? There's no way you're legal to drive after last night"

"Crap, you're right" he thought for a moment. Only one solution occurred to him

"Never thought I'd say this, but can you drive my car home?"

"Wait, you're actually going to let me drive your Porsche?" Tony sounded disbelieving, as well he might

McGee shrugged.

"Better you than Ziva"

They called a cab, taking it downtown to the bar. The bar was a regular hangout for law enforcement personnel; it maintained the Honour Wall for agents killed in the line of duty. The staff had recognised McGee and kept time on the meter for him so his Porsche wouldn't get towed. McGee thanked them and repaid the money they'd spent feeding the meter for him. Then he unlocked it and reluctantly let Tony slide in behind the wheel.

Surprisingly, Tony treated the high powered sports car with something bordering on respect. But then, it wasn't like this was one of the Agency pool cars. If Tony damaged his Porsche, McGee would probably shoot him.

McGee was silent on the trip back to his apartment, lost deep in thought. As he pulled the Porsche up in front of McGee's building, Tony turned to him

"Hangover getting to you, Probie?"

"Not really. Just thinking"

"That sounds serious"

"I really need to call Abby, don't know what to tell her"

"You'll figure this out, Probie"

McGee called another cab to take Tony home, paying the driver in advance. Before the cab left, he leaned in the window and asked

"Hey, how does getting a transfer work?"

"Transfer? You thinking of leaving us, Tim?"

"Just considering my options, Tony"

Tony gave him a measuring look as if trying to read his intentions. McGee kept his face carefully neutral

"You fill in the forms and send them up to the Director. Your team leader has to sign off on them, then it depends on where there's an opening"

McGee nodded. "Thanks for everything, Tony"

As the cab pulled away, Tony pulled out his cell phone and hit one of the speed dial buttons

"Yeah, Gibbs"

"Hey Boss, remember how the other day you asked me to tell you if things between Abby and McGee got any worse?"

"Well, yeah DiNozzo. What's your point?"

"Well Boss, I don't think they can get any worse. McGee got more than just a little drunk last night, he crashed on my couch, and just now when I was dropping him home he asked me about transferring"

"Transferring?"

"Yeah Boss, I think he was serious"

"Thanks for the heads up, Tony" the phone clicked in Tony's ear as Gibbs hung up

Gibbs stared at his cell phone for a long moment after he broke the connection. This had gone far enough; he'd tried to let these two work it out by themselves, but he'd be damned if he was going to let one of this agents leave without trying to stop it

He flipped open his phone and dialled a number from memory

"Gibbs here. I need a favour"

Later that night, when he was sure no one else would be around, McGee went into the office. With a heavy heart, he downloaded the forms necessary to apply for a transfer and emailed them to himself. He could have hacked into the NCIS computer system from home, but he didn't have the energy. Now he remembered why he didn't drink.

He still had to figure out what to tell Abby. He knew he owed her an apology, but he just didn't know what to say to her. Did he tell her the truth? He knew that she hated to be lied to. But then, telling her the truth was not going to be easy. It meant confessing the fact that he'd been in love with her for the past 6 years, and depending which way she took that knowledge meant either everything he'd ever dreamed of, or his worst nightmare.

Sighing, he got up from his desk and went home


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry this is taking so long guys, I'm having trouble getting this down in print. I'll post more as soon as I finish the next chapter. Please read and review :)**

Chapter 5

He went in early on Monday morning, hoping to bury himself in casework. He'd spent the rest of the weekend debating whether or not to submit his completed transfer paperwork, before finally sending it in late Sunday afternoon. He hadn't discussed it with Gibbs; that wasn't a conversation he was looking forward to. The thought gave him a pang of guilt. He still hadn't talked to Abby either. If he didn't hear from Vance today, he'd have to come up with something.

Unfortunately for him, they didn't get a case that morning, and so they were stuck working cold case files. He did his best to concentrate, but that would have been easier with a new puzzle to work on.

Around mid morning, his desk phone rang; it was the Director's secretary telling him to report to Vance's office on the double.

Gibbs looked up from his desk as McGee stood and headed for the stairs

"McGee! Where do you think you're going?"

"Sorry Boss, that was the Director's office"

"Fine, go"

He climbed the stairs to the Director's office with a sense of trepidation. The only thing they could want him for up there was his transfer papers.

The Director's secretary showed him straight into Vance's office. He came straight to the point.

"I received your transfer papers, Agent McGee. I must admit I'm a little surprised. I was under the impression that you enjoyed working in the Major Case Response Team"

"I do sir, very much"

"So why the transfer?"

"Personal reasons, sir"

"You care to elaborate on that, Agent McGee?"

"Not really sir... can I just say I'm having serious problems with another member of the team and leave it at that?"

Vance fixed him with a long stare, but let the subject drop

"Unfortunately McGee, with the new intake of agents there's very few positions open at the moment. I've only got two openings currently, and neither of them involves a lot of field work. One is as agent afloat on the Seahawk; the other is in the Cybercrimes unit." He handed McGee two folders

"Think them over carefully; I know Agent Gibbs is reluctant to lose you off his team"

"Sir, what are my options if I don't choose either position?"

"You can either rescind your transfer request, or you can refuse the offered positions. If you refuse the positions, a new position will be found for you, and you won't get a choice. Consider your options carefully; I need an answer by the end of the week."

"Yes sir"

He left the office with even more to think about. Tony's old job or Cybercrimes? Neither sounded appealing in the least.

When they broke for lunch a short while later, McGee was surprised to see Gibbs enter the elevator behind him. Suddenly he realised that they were the only people in the elevator, and swallowed. He knew what was coming.

Gibbs turned and flipped the emergency stop switch. The elevator shuddered to a halt.

"Something you want to get off your chest, McGee?"

"Vance called you about my transfer request?"

Gibbs snorted

"Yep"

"Why?"

"I guess he thought that I should know about one of my agents leaving! Why did you apply for a transfer in the first place?"

"Personal reasons, Boss"

"You can't hide behind that personal reasons crap with me, McGee!" he rapped out

McGee winced. He should have known better than trying that one on Gibbs

"It's... Abby. As stupid as it sounds Boss, I've never gotten over her"

"It's been 6 years, Tim. Why now?"

He sighed "I guess I just kept hoping that she'd change her mind. Anyway, I decided that its time that I actually tried to move on. But it's hard, you know. I thought that by trying to keep our relationship totally professional, I might be able to"

"But?"

"Now it's affecting my work as well as my personal life; I thought a transfer would force me to move on."

Gibbs shook his head "What positions did Vance offer you?"

"Um, agent afloat to the Seahawk, and Cybercrimes"

He flicked the emergency switch again, setting the elevator back in motion.

"Take the CyberCrimes position, McGee. It's one hell of a lot easier for me to get you back on my team from there"

"Yes, Boss"

His cell phone rang as Gibbs walked back from getting his coffee

"Yeah, Gibbs" he answered

" Agent Gibbs. I did what you asked, gave him the two least likely choices I had. I'm assuming you have a plan? I'd rather not break up the MCRT again"

"Working on it, Leon" he hung up.

That evening once Gibbs had released them for the day, he grabbed a Caf-Pow and made his way down to Abby's lab. He owed her an apology and an explanation, and he really couldn't put it off any longer.

The lights were on in her lab, although the equipment had been shut down for the night; he must have just caught her as she was about to leave. She wasn't in the main part of the lab. Looking around, he could see her sitting behind her desk. Nervously, he made his way into her office

"McGee. What are you doing down here? Have you finally decided to stop ignoring me?"

She was pissed off. This was going to be hard

"You're angry with me" it was a statement, not a question

"You're damn right I am, McGee. You yelled at me, you stormed out of here, you ignored my phone calls, and then you never called me back!"

"I know, Abby. I'm sorry. I never meant to yell at you, and then I never called you back because thought I needed to talk to you in person"

She glared at him for a moment, and then used her foot to push her second desk chair towards him. Taking it as a minor peace offering, he sat down and handed her the Caf POW he'd brought her.

"So, talk McGee"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wondering where to begin

"I've applied for a transfer, Abby"

"What? Why would you do that? You love the MCRT"

She looked extremely confused; he couldn't blame her.

"Well, it's like I said the other day, Abs. I can't do this anymore"

"Do what anymore, McGee?"

"This. Us" he gestured to her and himself

"You're not making sense, Tim"

Exasperated by his inability to explain, he tried a different tack

"Abs, do you remember why we stopped dating?"

"Sure, we wanted different things"

"That's right, I wanted the house and the kids and the dog, and you didn't"

She nodded, still a little unsure of where he was leading

"I've always wanted those things, Abby, and specifically with you. I still do. You're the only woman I've ever loved, Abs, and I've waited for 6 years for some kind of miracle that would make you feel the same way about me" he looked down at his hands, unable to look her in the eye right now.

"Anyway, I've come to realise over the past few months that I'm deluding myself; I'm just your friend that you dated for a while. So I decided that I've got to try and finally get over you, Abs. I need to find someone that wants what I want, and I can't do that if I'm forever comparing them to you" he heard a small sob and glanced up. Tears were streaming down her face. He got up and went to kneel beside her chair, putting his arms around her and letting her lean on his shoulder

"God, Abs, I'm so sorry. Please don't cry"

"Why didn't you tell me, Timmy?" her voice was barely a whisper

"I never knew how, Abs. And I didn't think it would make any difference; you can't change the way you feel anymore than I can" his own voice was rough with pain

He held her for a long moment, savouring the feel of her in his arms, then let her go

"I don't really want to leave the team, Abby, but I feel as though I've got to"

"When do you find out about your transfer?"

"Vance gave me two choices today; agent afloat or cybercrimes. I've got until the end of the week to decide"

"Oh" she said in a small voice "Which one are you going to take?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I don't really like either of them. Cybercrimes is absolutely no fieldwork, and I've been stuck in that sub basement before. And can you imagine me as agent afloat?"

She half smiled at that. He was not a good sailor, she knew that. She knew everything about him, or thought she did until 5 minutes ago. She'd always known he still had feelings for her, she just hadn't realised how deep they went.

Suddenly she flung her arms around him again, sobbing into his shoulder

"I'm so sorry, Tim, I never knew how much I was hurting you" He felt tears rise to his own eyes as she cried; her sobs were tearing his heart out

He gave her a little shake "Abby, this is not your fault. And I wouldn't swap one single second I've spent with you for anything. This is my problem, and if I could fix it any other way, I would"

He let himself hug her one last time, then resolutely stood up and moved away.

"Are you going to be ok, Abby? I don't want to leave you like this"

She shrugged, waving him away

"Go, Tim. I think I need to be alone right now. And close the door, huh?"

He gave her one last, indecisive look, then turned and left the lab. As the door closed behind him, she dropped her head into her hands and whispered "Oh God, what have I done?"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Looks like whatever it is that helps me write these things has recovered from New Year's. Here's the next chapter, another one soon, I promise!**

Chapter 6

Abby woke up, aware of being extremely uncomfortable. Her head was lying on a hard surface and she had a major crick in her neck. She opened her eyes and felt a split second of disorientation before realising she'd fallen asleep at her desk in the lab. It took her a moment to recall why she'd fallen asleep there, but then the memories came flooding back. Tim, telling her that he'd applied for a transfer; that he was in love with her; begging her not to cry. When he'd left she'd stayed at her desk, trying to assimilate the fact that Tim, her Timmy, was leaving...because of her. He was one of the few constants in her life; even when Vance had split up the team, she'd still been able to see him every day at work, and they'd spent time together outside of work. She could always depend on him; she'd just never realised how she was affecting him. Her thoughts had gone round in circles for hours until she'd finally fallen asleep.

Slowly she got up from the desk, stiff and sore from sleeping in that position. She needed to stop dwelling on what Tim had told her, and start trying to figure out how to stop him from leaving. Even if she didn't feel the same way about Tim as he did about her, she needed him in her life. He was her best friend.

She went down the hallway to the nearest bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face, grimacing at her reflection in the mirror. Her mascara and eyeliner had left black streaks down her face, her eyes were puffy and red from tears and her pigtails were messy and askew. She grabbed a handful of paper towel and did her best to remove the last of yesterday's makeup. Then she took the bands out of her pigtails and finger combed them loose. She didn't much feel like trying to put them back up again.

She headed back to her lab, hoping that the team would be so busy today that they wouldn't have time to hang around downstairs.

A short while later, Gibbs came in with her morning Caf-Pow

"Morning, Abs. Still no case, but I'd thought I'd bring you this-"he cut off, taking in her red-rimmed puffy eyes and pale face with a glance

"Did McGee come down here last night?" he asked, his voice hard

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. The mention of Tim had brought a lump back to her throat

Gibbs cursed under his breath

"Gibbs. Don't say that. It's not his fault"

"It's not your fault either, Abs"

"You're not really going to let him go are you, Gibbs?"

"Do my best, Abs" he kissed her on the cheek comfortingly, then turned and left

She half smiled; hopefully between them they could stop Tim from leaving.

Gibbs headed for the squad room, seething from his encounter with Abby. The pleading note in her voice as she asked him if he was going to let McGee go had really gotten to him. He knew that it wasn't really McGee's fault that he was in the situation he was in, but that didn't make him any less angry. Why on earth hadn't McGee waited to tell Abby about transferring until he had actually made a final decision? He could be putting her through this for no reason. Abby was like a daughter to him; he hated seeing her in pain.

And god knows, the only person that could have caused her this much pain by leaving was McGee. Gibbs knew he was a keen observer; snipers were trained not to miss anything, and he had been one of the best. He'd seen the way those two looked at each other when they thought the other wasn't watching; Abby just as much as McGee. He also knew that Abby didn't have any serious intentions towards his youngest agent, but the threat of losing him completely might just change that.

Something had to break between those two sooner or later; he just wished it hadn't been McGee's patience that broke first.

Later that afternoon, Tony came back upstairs from visiting Abby. He knew that technically he didn't know about McGee's transfer request, and had decided he shouldn't interfere, but Abby's demeanour had changed that. He'd never seen her this upset before, even after Kate's death. He had to say something to Probie. Maybe a short sharp shock would bring him to his senses. Something had to.

So he waited until Gibbs sent them home that night for his chance, deliberately stalling until he could get on the elevator with McGee. He kept his silence until they were in the parking lot, out of earshot of anyone else before he broached the subject

"So... you applied for transfer then?"

McGee sighed. "Gibbs tell you?"

"Nope. No one told me"

"So how did you know then?"

"Probie, Gibbs has been snappy all day, Abby looks like hell, and you asked me the other day about transfers. I'm an investigator, McGee: didn't take me long to put the facts together. You applied for transfer, and you told Abby. Knowing you, you probably even told her why. Am I right?"

McGee shook his head slightly "I wasn't going to lie to her, Tony"

"Probie, I've called you a lot of names over the years. One I never thought I'd be able to pin on you was 'coward'. Guess I was wrong"

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving McGee open mouthed and speechless.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"_I've called you a lot of names over the years. One I never thought I'd be able to pin on you was 'coward'. Guess I was wrong"_

Tony's words reverberated in McGee's head. They stung; he'd spent years working in Gibbs' team, proving that he wasn't a coward. But then, there were many different forms of cowardice. Just because he wasn't afraid of doing his job didn't make him unafraid in other aspects of his life.

Was he acting like a coward? Cutting his losses had seemed like the only solution, but all of a sudden he wasn't so sure.

Slowly, he got in his car and drove home.

McGee was wide awake. It was 4am and he'd tried everything he could think of to get some sleep. Even free writing hadn't helped- he hadn't gotten a single coherent sentence on paper. Tony's accusation of cowardice was driving him crazy. He'd honestly thought that leaving the MCRT was his only way out of an impossible situation. Now he had to admit to himself that yeah, he was acting spinelessly. It seemed like he'd dug himself an even bigger hole than the one he'd been stuck in before he submitted his transfer request. Now not only did he have problems working with Abby, but they were worse- his revelation to her the previous night had seen to that- Gibbs and Tony were both pissed with him as well!

He slumped down on the couch and covered his face with his hands. "Now what do I do?" he thought out loud. He didn't have an answer.

The next day passed uneventfully. It seemed the universe was smiling on the Navy and Marine personnel stationed around DC, as they still didn't have a new case. Even the cold cases they were working on were going nowhere. It was an awkward, uncomfortable day for McGee; neither Tony nor Gibbs was really speaking to him at the moment, and Ziva had clearly talked to Abby, judging by the looks she kept shooting him. Great, now he had a former assassin annoyed with him too.

Gibbs let them out early due to the lack of any real work being done. McGee cleared off his desk slowly, debating with himself whether it was a good idea to go and see Abby. He decided it was probably not a good idea, as much as he wanted to see her. Depressed, he waited for the rest of the team to clear the bullpen before he headed for the elevator. He didn't need another conversation like the one he'd had with Tony the night before.

He had two days left of his Vance-imposed deadline. What was he going to do?

Tony thought he'd use some of the extra free time they'd been given to go and see Abby. He detoured via the Caf-Pow machine on his way downstairs to her lab. She was still as listless as she had been the day before. Still no music, no pigtails, no makeup... all the hallmarks of a severely upset Abby.

She tried to act normally, talking to him at high speed about his weekend plans, but he could see through the facade. Finally he stopped her

"Abs, I know"

She cut off in mid sentence and gave him her best innocent look

"Know what, Tony?"

He rolled his eyes. "About McGee's transfer"

"Oh. Did he tell you?" her face fell, and her speech went back to normal speed

"Not exactly. He asked me about transfers the other day after his little drinking binge. I put two and two together. Tried to shake some sense into him yesterday, but I don't know if it worked or not- he's pretty much avoiding everyone right now"

"What'd you say to him?"

"Called him a coward, actually"

Instantly she fired up "Tony! How dare you say that to Tim? He's going through a really tough time right now and-"

He cut her off again

"Easy Abs, I was just trying to shake him up a bit and make him think twice about leaving"

"He's not a coward, Tony"

"I know that, Abby, I was just trying to change his headspace"

That was an interesting reaction, he thought to himself. He upset her this much and she's still defending him?

"Abs, I haven't wanted to bring this up but... Don't you think your reaction is a bit... Extreme? I mean, you didn't react this strongly when Vance split us all up. Are you feeling guilty? Because it's not your fault, you know. Same as it wasn't your fault when Mawher came after you or that crazy fan of McGee's"

"I know it's not my fault, Tony"

"So what is it that's upsetting you so much?" he pushed

She just looked at him

"Ok, well at least answer this. Would you be this upset if it was me or Ziva leaving?"

"Of course I would, Tony!" she replied straight away, but the words sounded hollow to his ears. He gave up pushing and left. Hopefully now he'd given both McGee and Abby something to think about.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ok guys, this is a really short chapter I'm sorry, but I had to break it there. Hopefully I'll have another chapter up later today. Yay for days off! - F**

Chapter 8

Even as she assured Tony that she would care just as much about him or Ziva leaving, a little pang of doubt hit Abby. Would she really? She'd known Tony a lot longer than McGee or Ziva, but the thought of him leaving... it made her sad, sure, but it wasn't the agonising grief she felt at the thought of losing McGee out of her life.

Well, of course it would be different, she rationalised. Tony and Ziva were like family; families went their separate ways. Tim was her best friend. You weren't supposed to lose your best friend. Especially not like this. It was the reason it hurt so much, that he'd choose to leave her. She'd told herself that so many times over the past few days that it was starting to sound as hollow as her assertion to Tony.

The thought occurred to her, why did she keep repeating that to herself? She grumbled under her breath as the unwanted thought cropped up again. She'd buried it many times in the last few days, unwilling to open the can of worms it invited. She tried to bury it again, but it wouldn't stay hidden.

Fine, she thought to herself, let's try the alternative. Sitting down at her desk, she forced herself to consider why Tim's defection was hurting her so much.

They'd shared so much over the past 6 years. Big things, like Kate's death, Tony's near death from the plague, Gibbs' retirement, and small things, like the thrill of cracking the last layer of encryption on a hinky computer, the little intuitive jump of thought that heralded a break in the case, Caf-Pows and late night movies on his couch. Was it just the things they'd shared that was making her feel like this?

She'd split up with him because he'd wanted more from her than she could give him. Was that still the case? She didn't have an answer for that question yet either, so she concentrated on exactly what it was that she would miss if Tim left. There were so many things.

She'd miss his little insecurities, that nervousness that was somehow so appealing, his enthusiasm for every new puzzle, the look he got on his face when he was concentrating, his presence in her lab- she'd never been able to work with another person, but with Tim it just clicked- the fact that he actually wanted to hear the explanation of how she'd worked something out, his intelligence, his grin that lit up his whole face, the way it felt when she hugged him, his cute little pouty lower lip... all these things made him her Timmy, and she loved all of them. She loved everything about him, even when he was driving her up the wall. The inescapable conclusion hit her like a ton of bricks.

"I love him" she whispered, then repeated louder

"I love Tim"

Why had she never realised this before? She couldn't stand the thought of him leaving because she was in love with him. She felt exhilarated; she stood up suddenly and snagged her jacket off its hook as she headed out of her lab. She needed to see Tim; she just hoped she wasn't too late.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Ok, so the writing bug bit bad on my day off, helped by the fact that my neighbour decided to start a leaf blower up just after 7.30am. At least writing is quiet and doesn't wake my partner- who works night shift, btw.**

**Who knows, I might even get this story finished today! Thanks for the reviews and patience. F.**

Chapter 9

The knock on his door startled McGee. He'd been sitting in front of his typewriter, contemplating his future for what seemed like hours. He looked around and realised that it had gotten dark while he'd been thinking; it had been hours, and he was no closer to a solution.

The knock on his door sounded again, more insistent this time. "I'm coming" he called out as he made his way across the darkened apartment, turning on the lights as he went. He unlocked his door and swung it open to find Abby on his doorstep. Surprised, he leant on the door for a moment

"Tim? Can I come in?" she asked

Mechanically he stepped aside, gesturing for her to enter. A hundred thoughts crowded his brain.

"What are you doing here?" he blurted out, and then mentally kicked himself as she recoiled slightly.

"I wanted to see you" she replied, as serious as he'd ever heard her. She walked past him and seated herself on his couch, patting the spot beside her "Come and sit down, Tim; we need to talk"

Feeling as though he'd stumbled into some weird dream, he made himself sit down beside her. The memory of their last conversation was painfully fresh in his mind as he asked

"What's on your mind, Abby?"

"I need to know something first, Tim. Have you given Vance an answer yet?" she let out a relieved sigh as he shook his head. Maybe she wasn't too late.

"No, not yet. I haven't made a decision yet"

"Don't do it, Tim. You can't leave"

He tensed; he'd been expecting something like this

"Abby-"

"No, hear me out Tim. I've been doing pretty much nothing but think since Monday, and I need you to just listen ok?"

He blinked a little at her forceful tone, but nodded

"Ok, Abs"

"So I've been pretty messed up since we talked on Monday night" he nodded again- he'd noticed the absence of makeup and pigtails "and Tony has been down to see me a couple of times. Anyway, he asked me something that made me think even more than I already was, even though I didn't know that was possible" he stopped her as she started to babble

"What'd he ask you?"

"He asked me if I would miss him or Ziva as much as I would you"

"And what'd you tell him?"

"I told him that I would, Tim. But then that got me thinking, would I really miss them as much? I mean, I love Tony and Ziva, don't get me wrong, but losing one of them off the team... it's just not the same"

He waited patiently for her to collect her thoughts

"So then that made me wonder why I'd miss you so much, Tim. At first I put it down to you being my best friend, but then I realised it was something else"

She felt him shift slightly beside her, his eyes suddenly intent on her face. She took a deep breath. This wasn't easy, even though she knew that he loved her. No wonder he'd had such problems telling her how he felt when he thought she didn't love him. Suddenly her stomach was tied in knots as butterflies ran rampant

"I realised that I love you too, Timmy. I always have, I just never knew that I did"

"Don't toy with me, Abby" there was a world of pain in his shaky voice

She got up and knelt on the floor in front of him, forcing him to look at her

"I'm not toying with you, Tim, I'm serious. I love you, Timothy McGee. I can't promise you that I want the house and the family, not yet anyway, because I don't know that myself, but I do know that I want to be with you"

She saw the look of joy and wonder spread across his face as he finally believed her and felt herself grin in response. He looked so happy. He reached out, trembling, to stroke his hand down her cheek. She closed her eyes at his touch.

"Abs" he murmured gently

Suddenly she felt herself being swept into his arms, and he was kissing her fiercely, as if he could make up for 6 years of lost time in one kiss. The passion she felt for this unusual man rose up inside her, and she decided that talking could wait.

Abby lay snuggled against his side, her head resting on his shoulder. He held her close, hoping that he wouldn't wake up and find that this had all been an unusually vivid dream. They lay in companionable silence for a few minutes while breathing and heart rates returned to normal.

He was the first to break the silence

"Well, this changes things a little"

She raised her head and smiled at him "Does this mean you aren't going to transfer?"

His brow creased in a worried frown

"I may have to transfer now"

At her questioning look, he elaborated

"Rule 12, remember? Never date a co-worker"

At that she grinned

"Let me worry about Gibbs, Tim. I'm sure I can talk him around"

He raised a sceptical eyebrow

"Being the boss's favourite can be useful sometimes, Tim" she laughed

At that, he had to agree. Abs was definitely Gibbs' favourite, and if anyone could talk him around to acceptance of two of his team dating, it would be her.

"As much as I don't want to move right now, Abs, I need to get up"

She shifted enough to let him get out of the bed, watching as he pulled on his discarded boxers and headed down the hallway. Curious, she picked up his shirt and put it on, following him into the lounge room. He had seated himself at the computer and was busy typing an email. She draped herself over his shoulders, hugging him from behind.

"Come back to bed, Timmy"

"I will, in just a sec..." he finished typing and hit 'send' "There, done. I had to make an appointment with the Director. I need to rescind that transfer request"

He stood and wrapped an arm around her waist

"You mentioned going back to bed? Lead the way" he teased

As he drifted off to sleep, his last thought was that tomorrow's round of explanations could make for an interesting day


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Here it is, the final chapter. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and review. Who knows, I might even write a sequel one day. F**

Chapter 10

Abby left early the next morning, needing to go home and change before heading in to the Navy Yard for work. As she pointed out, she'd already had two days running this week where she'd worn the same clothes; she really didn't want to do it again. Grumbling good-naturedly as he really didn't want her to go, McGee walked her to her car. At least he knew she'd be back. The fact that Abby loved him hadn't really sunk in yet; it still seemed vaguely dream-like. He'd have to get used to it. The thought of getting used to having Abby in love with him brought a smile to his face.

For now though, he had to get to work, or Gibbs would be even angrier with him than he was already. He really hoped that Abby was right about being able to bring him around her finger. It would be truly ironic to have to transfer out of the team under these circumstances.

He tossed the idea of calling Gibbs and explaining the need to rescind his transfer request out the window when he spotted the time. He was going to have to hurry to make it in on time. Thank God for the speed and manoeuvrability of a Porsche; he'd explain to Gibbs in person, it'd probably go a small way to appeasing the Boss' temper at not having discussed transferring with him in the first place.

Thankfully the DC traffic wasn't as crazy as usual, and he made it to his desk right on time. Gibbs however, was nowhere to be seen. McGee took the opportunity to go upstairs and see Vance. For once the Director wasn't overly busy, and he was able to see McGee straight away

He got right to the point

"Agent McGee. Have you come to a decision about transferring?"

"Yes, sir"

"And?"

"I would like to retract my request for transfer, sir"

Vance raised his eyebrows

"Something change, Agent McGee? You seemed pretty certain earlier this week"

"Yes, sir. The problems I was having with... another team member have been settled, and I'm confident we can continue working together"

"Is that so?" a small smile tugged at the corners of Vance's mouth

"Sir?"

"Well, if that's your decision, your transfer request will be cancelled immediately. Agent Gibbs will be pleased"

"Thank you, sir"

After McGee was safely away from his office, Vance deleted the request paperwork out of the young agent's record. No sense in letting something like this potentially come back to haunt him.

As McGee left the Director's office, he couldn't shake the feeling that Vance knew a lot more about his transfer request than he was letting on. He pushed the thought aside as he got downstairs and pulled out the cold case file he'd been working on. He was saved from the tedium by Gibbs' entry into the bullpen

"Grab your gear. We've got a dead Marine in Anacostia". As one, the team swung into action, glad to be doing what they did best. One nagging thought worried McGee as he headed for the elevator with the rest of the team; now he wouldn't have time to talk to Gibbs.

The case in Anacostia was pretty open and shut; a simple home invasion gone horribly wrong. The Marine gunnery sergeant had tried to protect himself, but Ducky put the preliminary cause of death as blunt force trauma to the back of the head; one of the two home invaders had taken a shot with a baseball bat. The Gunny's neighbours been walking their dog when the assailants had fled, and they'd caught them. It helped that the Gunny's neighbours were a Marine corporal and his wife. They spent the morning bagging and tagging evidence; even though it looked straightforward, they'd had cases like that before that had turned out to be as hinky as they come.

Gibbs kept a close eye on his youngest agent as they processed the crime scene. McGee was as professional as ever, but there was something different about him today. He wasn't the same withdrawn and moody man that they'd been dealing with for the past few weeks, and on top of that he kept smiling to himself when he thought no one was looking. Gibbs allowed himself a half smile. It was about time McGee and Abby got it together.

To confirm his suspicions, he sent McGee down to the lab with the evidence when they got back to the Navy Yard. There was a slight hesitation, a touch of nervousness, but nothing like the rejection of his order that had been written all over his face the last time he was told to run the evidence to Abby. That settled it. He wasn't losing one of his team members, at least not this time. Now he just had to head McGee off from telling him the whole story, otherwise he'd have to do something about Rule 12.

McGee couldn't help but feel a little nervous as he headed down to Abby's lab. A lot had passed between them last night, and he was a little unsure of himself. He grabbed the traditional Caf-Pow, hoping it would break the ice. He took a deep breath before entering the lab, telling himself he was being ridiculous.

Abby was seated at her computers, running a routine fingerprint test. She looked bored. Cold cases were as tedious for her as they were for the rest of the team.

"Evidence for you, Abs" he called out over the music as he set the white plastic evidence crate down on the lab table. She spun, startled

"Hey Timmy!" she greeted him, smiling broadly. "What'd you bring me?"

"Just the basic stuff, Abs. Murder weapon, victim's personal effects, the usual"

"Anything unusual on this one, Tim?"

"Not this time, looks like a home invasion that went wrong. We've already got two suspects in custody, the neighbours caught them fleeing"

"That makes it easier"

"Only if there's nothing hinky in that box" he grinned at her

"Well, I guess I better get started then" she turned and started sorting out the bags in the crate

"Hold on a sec, Abs" he touched her arm "I've only got a moment, then I have to get back upstairs, but I've got two questions... Have you seen Gibbs this morning?"

"Not yet, he'll be down as soon as I get results on this stuff. He always is. You haven't spoken to him yet?"

"Haven't had a chance, Abby. We got called out pretty much as soon as I got in this morning"

"Ok, so what was the second question?"

"Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?" the question sounded oddly formal after last night

"Sure, Timmy"

"Great. I'll pick you up at 7, ok? And now I've really gotta get back upstairs or Gibbs will have my hide"

Abby smiled as Tim left the lab. Now she definitely got to spend the evening with Timmy.

McGee headed back to the bullpen, hoping his stolen 5 minutes with Abby had gone unnoticed. No one said anything when he got back to his desk, apart from Gibbs telling him to do a routine background check on the Gunny's bank and phone records.

About half an hour later, Gibbs' phone rang.

"Yeah, Gibbs"

He listened for a moment, then hung up

"McGee, with me" he headed for the elevator, knowing that McGee was right behind him.

Once the doors were closed, he flicked the emergency switch

"Made a decision yet, Tim?"

"Yeah, boss, I did. I withdrew my transfer request this morning."

"Good to hear, McGee"

"Boss, Abby and I-"

Gibbs cut him off midsentence

"Don't ask, don't tell McGee"

"Right Boss"

Gibbs flicked the emergency stop back off again, setting the elevator in motion

"Abby could use a hand processing the evidence from this morning, McGee. I want you to stay down here until it's done. The quicker it's done, the quicker everyone gets to go home." The elevator dinged as the doors opened

"On it, Boss"

"Good" he strode towards Abby's lab. McGee heard his characteristic "Whaddya got, abs?" as Gibbs entered the lab.

McGee followed more slowly. Had Gibbs really just given them tacit permission to break Rule 12? He'd talk that over with Abby later. For now, he was just glad he was done with explanations.


End file.
